Elite: Dangerous PvE - Mobius

This is going to take time to explain. First I want to express that, although I only know them from these forums, I've met some great characters here.

OK on with it then. I hope this doesn't sound selfish but I couldn't get away from me at the time. I went on a downward spiral recently. I said something on these forums in vague hope that someone could offer some words. I feel embarrassed but I felt so desperate. I've been experiencing really bad insomnia and using alcohol to try and counter it. That combined with depression doesn't mix well. Then feeling shame and not having a job staying up watching programmes a bout people like myself 'sponging' off the state. I just felt like a fucking hindrance. A useless piece of pond stuff. A leech sucking the working people dry of their taxes. A waste of oxygen. I'd had enough.

(I'm not finding this easy to say but it's an explanation, not a sob story)

Last week some cops came to my flat and explained that someone who was an internet contact was concerned about me. I have an idea who it could be although they got the country of that person wrong as well as saying my IP address was in the USA but they're overworked and it's beside the point. Thank you, you know who you are. I was taken to hospital for an assessment despite telling them I was just a bit low. I'm glad that happened though. The cops were good ones. I just didn't want to bother anyone any more.

A member of Mobius also posted on my FaceBook wall. I couldn't read it because I felt ashamed at getting so low and looking so weak but to that person, 'Cheers'

Sorry to go on about myself but I think I pissed some people off and they deserve an explanation.

There are good days so brace yourselves

Takes courage to post something like that. Hope you're back to 100% soon.... stay shiny!

Don't feel ashamed, man, that can happen to anyone! And it does.

It's good to see you back!

Flip wrote:Don't feel ashamed, man, that can happen to anyone! And it does.

It's good to see you back!

Too true. Whilst visiting my parents in my home town I bumped into a guy I used to work on building sites with. I had to stop working when I last saw him because of 'stuff'. He used to jeer at me saying it was a weakness. Long and the short of it. He hugged me and explained he had to live with clinical depression for five years. His pride prevented him from talking about it and through the black eyes his wife left him. He said he wished he had talked. I said (although I'm not exactly a picture of health right now) you're talking now. Then we laughed about the hair cuts and boots and mis spellings of bands on our leather jackets. And the foreman getting pissed off that we cut slots in our hard hats so our mohawks could stick out. The ganger said what if something fell off the scaffolding and i said have you ever had hairspray in your eyes? He stomped off and we made some concrete x

This song cheers me up. On first glance it looks dark and depressing but it's a song of reality. We have a choice to change things. People on this forum have changed my mood just by talking and sharing. Hope you listen to the words. I know they're not clear and it's just me saying it but give it a go. xxx

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NpC_T213KOg&list=PLMCSvVCM_Up4L-swbICx2UPQzNwpjE7zh

We are all with you mate..

Just remember this, Depression Lies. And it will get better whether you believe it or not.

Depression Lies.

Definitely no weakness in sharing the story of a hard time -- on the contrary.

Avago-Earo wrote:And the foreman getting pissed off that we cut slots in our hard hats so our mohawks could stick out.

Now THAT sounds like a memory to cheer one up! Seize the black beast of depressive shadow and give it a laugh. Right on!

uvelius wrote:Definitely no weakness in sharing the story of a hard time -- on the contrary.

Avago-Earo wrote:And the foreman getting pissed off that we cut slots in our hard hats so our mohawks could stick out.

Now THAT sounds like a memory to cheer one up! Seize the black beast of depressive shadow and give it a laugh. Right on!

Yeah you're right. I'm going to try and lighten up. You never know, maybe you guys will need me one day. I do think of others' too.

Onwards and Upwards... Flight Assist On for the time being.

Anybody can get to that place, that kind of low. Not everybody makes it back, and nobody does that alone. Good luck!